The Blondest

I have a few friends who have opened up to me that they feel isolated and alone right now. Some of them are new moms and just feel trapped at home with no motivation to get "out" when it's so hard with little ones. Some of them are busy with work and desperate for connection. Some of them have moved to a new place, unsure of where to begin building relationships. But they all express similar struggles. It's from that vein that I decided to share something that I consider to be some of the most valuable advice I can give.

Invest your time in making great friends.

My cousin Jade was my very first best friend. She and I are cut from the same cloth. We love Slurpees, laughing til we pee our pants, dancing on tables, singing at the top of our lungs, and getting ourselves into just a little bit of trouble. She's the best friend I've ever had, the twin sister I always dreamed of and we've always had the best adventures. We once convinced her Dad that he should let us run a concession stand at an all boys camp. We also ran out of gas at the top of a mountain on Christmas Day with no coats and wearing SLIPPERS and hitched a ride home. We dated ridiculous boys and reminded each other we could do better. We went on the best road trips. We basically lived a real-life Mary Kate & Ashley movie, which is every girl's dream. We still do the same things when we get together, but we found good men to build families with and these days we have to make sure our adventures don't endanger our children. Other than that, nothing's changed. She's my best friend.

I nervously went to our church's Girls Camp as a 12-year-old "first year." A little scared and unsure, with no great friends from church in my small town, I was afraid I'd hate it. Instead, I found a friend from another small cow town (that's how it works in the midwest) that always had candy to share, believed pickles were a meal, and could quote all the Pauly Shore movies with me. You don't just throw that kind of friendship away! 18+ years later (whaaat?!?!), I set her up with her husband and now she brings her whole family to cheer on my son's baseball team, play board games, and share dinners. She's my best friend.

I got married young. We had our babies young. All my old friends suddenly didn't seem to have a whole lot in common with me and for a time, I felt so alone. At church one Sunday, me and 4 other women realized we'd all had babies within that same year- so we set up a play date... for the kids. We got together at the park and hardly talked while our kids played. In spite of those awkward beginnings, we kept getting together and ended up with so much more than we ever imagined. We became the ones that help each other through births, deaths, joys, and pains. They are some of the wisest, most inspirational, and incredible women that I know. Each of them has blessed my life in tremendous ways for their honesty, bravery, and example. They're my best friends.

I moved to a new place not too long ago and I've built great friendships with even more wonderful people. At times, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the incredible women I can count in my corner. You all know who you are. You're my best friends.

Best friends give you a safe place in life. They provide somewhere you can be loved and accepted for exactly who you are right then and who you're working to become. It gives you somewhere to turn for advice. Someone to pray for you, laugh with you, cry with you, cheer for you, encourage you, inspire you, motivate you, and on, and on, and on. These friendships are valuable. They should be cherished and celebrated. At times, I find myself feeling guilty about the time needed to be devoted to these friendships. Especially in the midst of motherhood, it can feel selfish to want to get away. It's not selfish. Spending time with people who enrich your life will bring you joy. Making time for joy and keeping your bucket full makes you a better mother and a better wife.

So, do everything you can to build and maintain your friendships.